Q: Why does this exist?
A: Reviews found in commercial game media are generally not good. They are usually written before or shortly after a game is released, written for the purpose of persuading or dissuading the reader from purchasing the game, and they are written by employees paid through the advertising of the games they review. Such reviews do not account for future developments with the game, such as the discovering of new exploits, nor do they go beyond their base function judge and executioner. But a review can be much more, thus I will attempt to make it so.
Q: What's with these questions?
A: The FAQ is the most fundamental format used by the people that actually understand video games, the people that play them for shear pleasure. I have borrowed this most noble form for the writing of reviews. It is also easier to skim an FAQ than normal paragraphs.
Q: Why don't you actually review games?
A: I refuse to assign numbers to games. That invites comparisons which are unfair as a rule (Metroid Prime 3 vs Halo 3?). This isn't science. I can't subject a game to some dreadful experiment which results in a number. Attempting to condense a review into a number that can be compared to other numbers is likely not possible.
Q: Are you unbiased?
A: No. There is no such thing as objectivity. I can create the illusion of disinterestedness, but it is only just that. I'm still predisposed to like certain games or genres regardless of rationale. I'm capable of liking the worst game and hating the best. That said, I'm slow to judge. I can usually look at a game or system, see what the developers attempted to do, why they attempted it, and witness the positive and negative of their labors. I'll play just about anything on any system with equal enthusiasm.
Q: Will you answer my question(s)?
A: I entertain all questions. When one is as brilliant as myself, it is his privilege to share said brilliance with others. I will reply to any question posted in a comment.
